The decision to loan money to family and friends is often emotionally charged and can have significant implications for relationships and finances. While helping loved ones in times of need is admirable, it’s essential to approach such situations with caution and clear boundaries to protect both parties involved. In this article, we will discuss 40 do’s and don’ts of loaning money to family and friends.

The Do’s

  1. Do Evaluate Your Financial Situation: Before lending money, assess your own financial stability and ensure you can afford to part with the funds.
  2. Do Communicate Openly: Discuss the terms and expectations of the loan transparently with the borrower to avoid misunderstandings.
  3. Do Put the Agreement in Writing: Create a formal written agreement detailing the loan amount, repayment terms, and any applicable interest.
  4. Do Set Clear Repayment Terms: Define a realistic repayment schedule and make sure both parties agree to it.
  5. Do Charge Interest (If Appropriate): If you decide to charge interest, ensure it is fair and aligns with legal regulations.
  6. Do Prioritize Your Financial Goals: Avoid sacrificing your financial well-being to provide loans, especially if it hinders your own financial goals.
  7. Do Offer Alternatives: If you can’t provide the full amount, suggest other resources or partial assistance.
  8. Do Consult a Professional: Seek legal or financial advice if the loan is substantial or complex.
  9. Do Document Repayments: Keep records of all payments received and notify the borrower when a payment is received.
  10. Do Be Empathetic: Understand the borrower’s situation and approach the matter with empathy and compassion.

The Don’ts

  1. Don’t Assume the Borrower’s Intentions: Verify the purpose of the loan to avoid funding irresponsible or untrustworthy behavior.
  2. Don’t Loan More Than You Can Afford: Only lend money you can afford to lose without significant financial strain.
  3. Don’t Make It a Gift: Be clear that the transaction is a loan and not a gift to avoid resentment or misunderstandings.
  4. Don’t Disregard Your Gut Feeling: If something feels off or risky, trust your instincts and reconsider the loan.
  5. Don’t Pressure the Borrower: Avoid pressuring the borrower to accept the loan if they are hesitant or uncomfortable.
  6. Don’t Mix Business with Personal Relationships: Separate the loan process from personal emotions to prevent conflict.
  7. Don’t Enable Bad Financial Habits: If the borrower has a history of financial irresponsibility, think twice before lending.
  8. Don’t Neglect Your Financial Needs: Ensure your own financial security before assisting others.
  9. Don’t Be Coerced: Don’t give in to emotional manipulation when deciding whether to lend money.
  10. Don’t Rely on Verbal Agreements: Always document loan agreements in writing to avoid disputes later.
  11. Don’t Share Private Financial Details: Keep personal financial matters private to avoid awkwardness or resentment.
  12. Don’t Loan Money You Borrowed: Never lend money you borrowed from another source, as this can create a cycle of debt.
  13. Don’t Violate Legal Requirements: Familiarize yourself with local laws and regulations regarding lending money to avoid legal issues.
  14. Don’t Loan to Save Relationships: Lending money should not be a means to fix broken relationships.
  15. Don’t Rush the Decision: Take your time to evaluate the situation and consider the implications before making a decision.
  16. Don’t Drain Your Emergency Fund: Avoid dipping into your emergency fund for loans.
  17. Don’t Use Retirement Savings: Refrain from using retirement funds for loans, as it jeopardizes your financial future.
  18. Don’t Avoid Discussing the Terms: Be upfront about the interest rate, repayment schedule, and consequences of default.
  19. Don’t Lend Without a Plan: Have a clear plan for how you’ll handle late payments or defaults.
  20. Don’t Neglect the Impact on Others: Consider how lending money may affect your spouse, children, or other family members.
  21. Don’t Feel Guilty About Saying No: It’s okay to decline a loan if it’s not feasible or you are uncomfortable with the situation.
  22. Don’t Overlook the Risk of Non-Repayment: Be prepared for the possibility that the borrower may not repay the loan.
  23. Don’t Ignore Red Flags: If the borrower has a history of financial problems, think twice before lending.
  24. Don’t Lend to Support Addictive Behavior: Avoid providing funds that may enable harmful habits or addictions.
  25. Don’t Assume the Borrower’s Financial Literacy: Offer financial guidance if needed to help the borrower manage their finances better.
  26. Don’t Take Personal Loans Lightly: Treat personal loans with the same seriousness as you would a bank loan.
  27. Don’t Feel Obligated: You are not obligated to lend money to anyone, even family and close friends.
  28. Don’t Bail Out Repeatedly: Resist the urge to continually bail out someone who repeatedly mismanages their finances.
  29. Don’t Lend to Pay Off Debts: Avoid lending money to someone who intends to pay off existing debts.
  30. Don’t Give More Than You Can Afford to Lose: Prepare for the possibility of non-repayment and don’t lend more than you can afford to lose.
  31. Don’t Forget About Taxes: Consider potential tax implications of loaning money, such as reporting interest income.
  32. Don’t Use Retirement Accounts: Refrain from withdrawing from retirement accounts to lend money.
  33. Don’t Mix Business and Personal Finances: Keep the loan transaction separate from your personal bank accounts.
  34. Don’t Expect Immediate Repayment: Be patient and understanding about the repayment timeline.
  35. Don’t Loan Out of Guilt: Make lending decisions based on rational thinking, not guilt.
  36. Don’t Rely on Verbal Promises: Only consider loans with clear written terms.
  37. Don’t Overlook the Borrower’s Financial Plan: Ensure the borrower has a solid repayment plan.
  38. Don’t Forget About the Impact on Relationships: Be aware that lending money can affect the dynamics of relationships.
  39. Don’t Co-Sign Loans: Avoid co-signing loans, as you become responsible for repayment if the borrower defaults.
  40. Don’t Let Money Ruin Relationships: Be prepared for the possibility that the loan may strain the relationship, and be willing to communicate openly to resolve any issues.


Loaning money to family and friends is a delicate process that requires careful consideration and planning. While helping loved ones in times of need is a noble gesture, it is crucial to set boundaries and manage expectations to protect both parties involved. By adhering to the do’s and don’ts outlined in this article, you can navigate loaning money to family and friends with prudence, empathy, and clear communication. Remember that open and honest dialogue is essential to fostering understanding and preserving relationships throughout the loan process.